Mettle.
Mettle. Guess that’s what you gotta have when you don’t want to go clinically insane in this day and age. When you are trying to gather a lot of optimism (not just simply wishful thinking) really pouring faith into what you want to believe, sometimes you get confused or perhaps baffled. Its important to have that mettle and continue to just believe that what you ASK shall be given to you. Yes, in some kind of sick often hypothetical mystery, our wishes do come true. We are just busy enough to ignore it, sometimes we are so and so BUSY enough to accept it. We attract it, depending on how we react to things. If we are always distressed by the craziness of the world then we get more stress. We look on the bright side, we get the bright side.
I remember when we were new to this town. Mom and Dad decided to move here (from Manila). Mom just finished Radiology and my Dad is an unemployed bum. Dad came from a poor family, i think they were 8 or 9 of them siblings. We wasnt able to finish college and was forced to do odd jobs. I remember my Uncle Andres, a police officer and they have this well off kind of living. His children treated me like a true cousin. Me and my brother Ren used to hang out at their place all the time with all the toys we can play, and Papa and Ma was away working. Fact is that, when we had nothing, when our backs against the wall, Uncle Andres was kind enough to give us a hand. Its just bloody sad he’s gone now. I never mentioned to him how cool he was. I feel guilty somehow, just a few months ago he was at our clinic for a checkup and i didnt even had idle chit chat with him. Its all shitty when you forget to appreciate people and suddenly they’re just gone. Give a Hug, give a smile. Its a short life to be bent on making money and having issues with hate and revenge.
Now my Dad has a growing business, Mom wants to retire from government (insert swear word of choice) service, and I am being reared to handle things IN CASE THINGS HAPPEN. And that’s a lot of fucking pressure, man. I am the Kuya so i should be sacrificing a lot more than i should. Its like destiny. Im not complaining at all, im just trying to find ways not to think about THE EVENTUAL THING. Prayers do help, knowing that God will give more strength and courage to help you stand on your own and let you know that you are not alone. I want to build an empire that can support me and my brothers and a few good relatives. I want that empire to be strong. My Dad is teaching me details and even ciphered clues that now i must figure out. You can probably list down the values you must have to run an empire – discipline, patience, charisma (i have non of these motherfuckers). But one thing for sure, you gotta have METTLE. BALLS. COJONES. Unless you want to be devoured by that pitiless wicked attributes of human douchebags.
Maybe i just wanted to write to reassure myself. That hey, take it easy, damn it, you’ll be just fine.
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