Random Acts of Potential Trepidations

Here comes the Sun.

Happy New Year. A couple of weeks more and we welcome the Chinese New Year: Year of the TIGER. I am born TIGER so i think i have a mindset like a TIGER.

After weeks of blog inactivity, i find some time to finally update this thing and just nurture whatever is left of my writing skills and prolly some of my communication skills. I have been anxious of work, and i have been anxious of doing good at work. And i hope i will perform good cause i know i am getting the hang of it now. After 3 weeks of nesting, i was put in a good performing team which amounts to a lot of pressure to a new comer like me. It doesnt at all alleviate the anxiety that i constantly possess. But somehow, i am learning how to convert that anxiety to optimism and drive to learn, and be competitive.  Thats just about on work, got highs and lows but its the natural learning process i guess. I take comfort of the thought that the company sees something in me so i was placed in a good performing team.

(Please be advised that the following paragraphs contain severe profanity and foul language)

Fugitive.

I havent made a single new years resolution. I dont want to. Im not comfortable with it because im the kind of person who is keen to changes. I change my mind a lot even if sometimes i dont adapt to change well. i know, its a little messed up but thats just me. I do not have a resolution, but it doesnt mean that i wont make changes. I already made a lot of changes. One adage remains in my head – “Reject what is useless, Absorb what is useful.” So thats exactly what i did, i tracked the past and it all led to one single denominator so basic instinct is to Kill that fucker, burn it to the ground and bury it like the shit that it is. Now i feel like im on the run with all the ghost fuckers that pops out once in a while. I feel like a fugitive, i am a fugitive. And it feels good to be one. I wont cross that path ever again. And i dont give a fuck about that denominator that made my life extra shitty. If you know what im talking about then by a rare chance that you are reading this and reacting violently as ever, well like i said, i dont give a flying fuck about your opinion or whatever the fuck it is that you do. Leave me fucking alone.

Its just too much to handle sometimes, people judge you and label you and mock you. The thing is they can do that over and over and over. They go speak ill things of you, fine you can pour out your hearts content. I dont really give a shit. Again, all you sons and daughters of bitches who fucked my life during 09 can all go fuck yourselves in your own assess. Fuck all of you. You do not fucking scare me, and you are one big laughing stock of a joke for having a faggot, alright maybe two faggots in your little bitch ass run down clique.

Ill probably get in jail for this. I think thats the scary part of it.Yeah, prolly ill be charged with defamation and public slander or something. LOL.

Profanity Ends Here.

2010 Will be Magical.

I have been training with playing cards again. I have learned so much in the span of 2 weeks. Demonoid is up again and im quite thankful for that. Its awesome i got so much material to choose from and im doing really great with it. i have been performing a lot too, i mean, a lot. I have performed at Starbucks at work several times and i think i boosted my confidence a lot. I will just continue this and perhaps if i have settled in, ill be collecting deck of cards. My hands are smooth!

This is it for now. Finally im getting my groove back at blogging. i know i have so much anger left within me, contained and ready to destruct. just like a tiger on a prowl. Eyes on the prey. Locked and Loaded. Ever ready to ambush.